Six Go Mad With Drums And Bass
by LunaEquus
Summary: What if Gemma, Kartik, Ann, Felicity, Pippa, and Ithal were in a band together? What if they lived in the same house? Title may eventually change!


**Obviously inspired by Libba's LJ posts. Enjoy!**

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** Enter four girls and one guy, slouched around the room on various pieces of furniture. KARTIK sits sideways in an armchair, legs dangling near ANN, who sits on the floor. GEMMA perches on the arm of KARTIK'S chair, occasionally leaning into him. FELICITY sits behind PIPPA on the couch, braiding her friend's hair.**

GEMMA: We need a band name. (looks around) Any ideas?

**There is a collective mumbling of uncertainty and carelessness.**

GEMMA: No one?

KARTIK: I'm all for "Kartik and the Corsets".

FELICITY: (throws K a nasty look) So you've reduced us to garments that practically radiate sexism and centuries of suppressing women?

KARTIK: (rolls eyes) Would you prefer "Kartik and the _Corsettes_?" It's cuter, no?

FELICITY: (seethes)

PIPPA: I think it's a bad name anyway. (twirls a newly braided piece of hair)

**KARTIK sighs in exasperation and lets his head fall backwards into GEMMA'S lap, forgetting for a moment that she was there. GEMMA fights a blush as KARTIK sits up straighter again.**

GEMMA: We shouldn't single one of us out. We're a band; all of us are equally important.

FELICITY: (apparently not listening) How about "Better Than Gemma"?

PIPPA: I love it! What about you, Ann?

ANN: (looking very uncomfortable) We shouldn't single anyone out…

KARTIK: How about "Flogging Felicity"?

Gemma: (snorts with laughter)

**FELICITY stands up suddenly, looking very menacing with teased hair and electric blue extensions. KARTIK jiggles his foot in annoyance, narrowly missing ANN'S head.**

FELICITY: (places her hands on her hips) That's a lot of talk coming from the_ bassist_.

GEMMA: Fee, please.

KARTIK: What is that supposed to mean?

FELICITY: You are so totally replaceable.

PIPPA: You are.

GEMMA: He's _not._ Right, Ann?

ANN: (looking nervously at K's twitching, boot-clad feet dangling near her head) Um, right.

KARTIK: (flicks hair out of his eyes) I thought so.

**Thirty minutes later, the scene is unchanged save for pizza boxes and soda bottles on the coffee table.**

PIPPA: Don't we need a drummer or something? Fee, wasn't your friend gonna join our band?

FELICITY: Who, Simon?

KARTIK: (chokes on a bite of pizza so that G must slap him on the back) _Simon_ is joining our band?

ANN: (pokes at her pizza, looks around, and scarfs it when she is certain no one is paying attention to her)

GEMMA: We _do _need a drummer…

KARTIK: Not Simon!

PIPPA: (pouts because she likes Simon) Then who?

KARTIK: (drinks soda thoughtfully) I have an idea…

FELICITY: (sarcastically) Do you now?

KARTIK: (mysteriously exits the room)

GEMMA: (sighs and takes a huge bite of pizza. Speaks with her mouth full) Godsh, I'm _shtarving_!

ANN: Gemma, doesn't your brother want to join us?

GEMMA: (takes another huge bite) Not uh chansh, Ann.

**Twenty minutes later, KARTIK returns with ITHAL.**

KARTIK: May I present our new drummer?

ITHAL: I am good at hitting the drums with a beat.

**The four girls stare at ITHAL in awe, admiring his muscle tone, golden eyes, and stylish-looking shaggy hair that is actually the result of an old haircut gone bad.**

FELICITY: (licks her lips) I can dig it.

PIPPA: (giggles) Looks good!

ANN: (shrugs) Tom would be better for our image, I think.

GEMMA:_Very _nice choice, Kartik.

KARTIK: (frowns at the way G looks at I) Are you sure you aren't mistaken? Maybe Tom _would_ be better?

GEMMA: Oh no, Ithal is _perfect_.

FELICITY: Yes. _Perfect._

ITHAL: I bring a good dynamic to the group, I think.

**KARTIK: (grumbles)**

**ITHAL sits wedged between FELICITY and PIPPA, who fuss endlessly over him. KARTIK fumes, sitting normally in the armchair. ANN still sits on the floor, and GEMMA is once again perched next to KARTIK.**

ITHAL: We should be called "Ithal and the Pussycats." Is cute?

FELICITY: That's amazing.

PIPPA: (looks at I's well-muscled arms) Yes, amazing.

KARTIK: I'm no pussycat.

GEMMA: If you wore eyeliner, you'd look sort of like a tiger…

KARTIK: Do you really think so?

GEMMA: Want to try?

KARTIK: (eager to be alone with G) Yeah!

**KARTIK and GEMMA leave for the bathroom to play with eyeliner…and perhaps more. ANN sighs and pulls out a notebook to write lyrics. FELICITY, PIPPA, and ITHAL are deep in a very important conversation.**

PIPPA: What sort of things do you do?

ITHAL: I run every morning. I eat eggs for strength!

FELICITY: That's fascinating…

**Meanwhile, in bathroom, KARTIK sits on the edge of the bathtub while GEMMA applies black eyeliner on him.**

KARTIK: Don't put too much on. I don't want to look like Boy George.

GEMMA: (concentrating) Don't worry.

KARTIK: (feels very hot and bothered because he can see down G's shirt)

GEMMA: Oops.

KARTIK: Oops? No oops. What did you do you?!

GEMMA: Don't worry! (grabs tissue and rubs at K's eyelid) Well that looks interesting…

KARTIK: You made me look like Boy George, didn't you?

GEMMA: (looks offended) Of course not! (considers K's appearance) More like Eddie Izzard…

**FELICITY and ITHAL are in the corner, making out, while PIPPA cozies up to ANN out of boredom.**

PIPPA: Where did Kartik and Gemma go?

ANN: I heard something about eyeliner and the bathroom. I think.

FELICITY: (head snaps around) Gemma is putting eyeliner on Kartik in the bathroom?!

ANN: (taken aback) Yeah, why? What's wrong?

FELICITY: (eyes glitter) I _taught _her that trick!

PIPPA: (pouting) What?

FELICITY: (grins evilly) I shall show you…

**FELICITY leads PIPPA, ANN, and ITHAL to the bathroom and throws open the door. GEMMA is sitting on the sink with her arms and legs wrapped around KARTIK, who is wearing a questionable amount of eyeliner. It is clear they have been making out quite enthusiastically.**

GEMMA: Um, I was just…um, giving him a makeover.

FELICITY: Is _that _what they call it these days?

**Once back in the other room, they all take their respective places again. KARTIK has since been washed of eyeliner.**

GEMMA: We still need a name for our band. Have you any ideas, Ann?

ANN: No…

PIPPA: Why don't _you _think of something, Gemma?

GEMMA: The best I can do is "Four English Girls, A Gypsy, and A Fake Gypsy."

KARTIK: (beaming at G) Good line of thought to start with!

FELICITY: It's foul.

ITHAL: (grinning) I am the real Gypsy!

KARTIK: This is ridiculous.

ANN: Why don't we play a word game to help us along?

FELICITY: I'm down.

**Fifteen minutes pass in which each person writes down a list of words that appeal to them.**

FELICITY: Time's up. I'll go first. I've got power, lipstick, huntress, sex, hailstorm, ice, Wonderbra, socialite, acrylics, plasma, swan, extravagance, and stilettos.

ITHAL: (stares at F's chest) Wonderbra is good.

PIPPA: Mine are really good! Petals, Burt's Bees, sugar, meadow, featherbed, romance, kisses, pink, lace, bunny, candy, satin ribbons, and murderous decomposing goat's head of doom.

KARTIK: I was going to say that I think I got a cavity… But now I'm just disturbed.

ANN: This was a bad idea I think.

GEMMA: I have a few good ones…

PIPPA: I bet mine are better!

GEMMA: (rolls eyes)

KARTIK: Let's hear them.

GEMMA: Fine. Moonlight, caravan, Pandora, eyeliner, steel-toed boots, soliloquy, rampant passion, enigma, fireflies, cult, black nail polish, and magic.

ANN: I like them.

PIPPA: Mine are still better…

ITHAL: Dildos is a good word.

KARTIK: (coughs)

**A bit later, ANN is scribbling away in her notebook while the others fire off names.**

FELICITY: Steel-Toed Slippers.

GEMMA: Pandora's Caravan?

KARTIK: Six Go Mad With Drums And Bass.

GEMMA: (laughing) That is probably the best we're gonna get.

KARTIK: (grins)

ITHAL: Hot Dildos!

**The girls erupt into giggles.**

KARTIK: Ithal, do you know what dildos are?

ITHAL: They are cute toys?

KARTIK: Yeah, I guess they are. But they're girl toys. _Girl _toys. (makes lewd gestures with hands)

ITHAL: (grinning lecherously) That is hot!

KARTIK: I can't disagree.

**The hour is late and everyone is frustrated. The girls have missed Project Runway and the successive showings of the newest episode and KARTIK wants to be alone with GEMMA. ITHAL is wondering if they're going to ask him to move in with them.**

GEMMA: I think we should call it a night.

FELICITY: Yes. We need time to let our er, _creative juices _flow. Ithal, it's late. You should probably just stay here for the night.

ITHAL: I like that.

PIPPA: (whining) But Fee…

FELICITY: (elbows P) Lovely!

ANN: See you all at breakfast.

**ANN and PIPPA leave, bitching about things. FELICITY pulls ITHAL in the direction of the bathroom. KARTIK and GEMMA remain on the armchair together.**

GEMMA: (slides into K's lap) This is a bad idea, isn't it?

KARTIK: This?

GEMMA: What?

KARTIK: Us.

GEMMA: Huh?

KARTIK: Do you think _we're _a bad idea?

GEMMA: (blushes) Oh no, not us! The band, I mean. Not us. (thinks) Is there an "us"?

KARTIK: As long as there's eyeliner involved.

GEMMA: Oh.

KARTIK: I'm _kidding_. We can be an "us" if you want there to be an "us".

GEMMA: (smiling) Let's be "us" then.

KARTIK: (grins) Good. (kisses G) I think it probably is a bad idea.

GEMMA: What? I thought you said we weren't a bad idea!

KARTIK: (sighs in exasperation) The band, I mean. The band is probably a bad idea.

GEMMA: Oh yes, you're right. We'll never agree on a band name.

KARTIK: I think we _can _agree on one thing.

GEMMA: What's that?

KARTIK: Eyeliner should be mandatory.

**GEMMA and KARTIK make out in the armchair until the time in early morning when only infomercials show. As the Magic Bullet commercial isn't very romantic, they both retire to their respective rooms.**

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** Bwahaha! Credit for "Six Go Mad With Drums And Bass" goes to the talented ThreeOranges! And "Kartik and the Corsets" to berryglasses on LJ. The others are mine.  
**

**You're all lucky that I still have the heart for fanfic, as I know the end of TSFT and seriously thought I'd never write again. Yes, it's bad, and no, I won't tell you. Everyone on LJ knows my pain.**

**But I digress. **

**Has two finals she didn't yet study for tomorrow and then she gets to go home for Christmas!,  
LunaEquus**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **


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